Dwight's Independence Day

The Fourth of July is a special day for all Americans. This is when we declared our independence from England. We wanted to be out from under the tyranny of the King of England and its laws. Many brave men gave their lives during the Revolutionary War for the freedoms we have today. I was able to become a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) because of my 7th great grandfather George Adam Mann who fought in the war.

In 1999, Independence Day came to have an additional meaning for me. For it was July 4, 1999, that my 'baby' brother, Dwight, gained his independence from the pain and suffering he was going through. This is the day he died. It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years since his passing, it seems like it was just yesterday. There are times when I come in to the basement from the garage and start up the stairs that I can hear his laughter. He had such a memorable chuckle. I miss him terribly. It took a long time to get over the impulse to pick up the phone and call him.

Dwight was a victim of AIDS. He was gay and it was a fear that I always had that he would contract the disease and while it was hard to hear it, I wasn't surprised. He stayed healthy for a long time before the virus became active. He lived in Dallas and Valary and I would visit him during the summer. Uncle Dwight was just about it for her. She adored him--as did everyone who met him. He had such a good personality. In 1996, when the virus became active, Mom and I had to make a rush trip to Dallas. It was then that I told Valary that Dwight had AIDS, that he was gay. She simply stated, "Mom, I love Uncle Dwight for who he is, not what he is." Wise words from a 12 year old.

We were told that he probably would never be able to live by himself again, so we decided to move him home. My brother Keith, his wife Susan, Mom and I spent several days packing up his apartment and spending time with Dwight in the hospital. He was only 41 but he looked like he was an elderly man. It was so sad. I prayed that God would take him but it wasn't to be. I really thought that he was coming home to die. But God is in the miracle business and within 6 months Dwight was able to move back to Dallas. He worked at "The Roundup" a gay bar in Dallas. He spent a lot of his time working with different organizations, raising money and awareness of AIDS during the last three years of his life. Some of the nicest people I've ever met were associated with the bar. They took such good care of Dwight.

Early in the year of 1999 he told us he had stopped taking his medicines in January because they were making him really sick. He knew what the outcome would be if he stopped and during a phone conversation he apologized to me for causing us to have to face his death. The end of May

Mom, Valary and I made our last trip to Dallas to visit him. We knew he didn't have much time left. He was very weak and had stopped eating as nothing would stay down. It was a good time and a sad time because we knew the time was near. We sat and visited, talking about growing up, the people we knew, the experiences we had. It's a week that will always remain dear to my heart.

Mom went back to Dallas a couple of days before Dwight died. One of his friends called and told her it was time. They had just moved him into an AIDS hospice home. He knew Mom was there. His friends took very good care of her until I could get there. They told her that he knew he would die on July 4. Our phone was out of order at this time so I didn't know or I would have gone with Mom. She didn't think I was home when she left so she didn't stop to tell me. In fact, it wasn't until the morning of the 4th that I got a message from her. So this day has become, in my heart, Dwight's Independence Day. I know he no longer has the virus that took his life. I know that I will see him again. He and I talked about God's forgiveness in May. He was afraid God wouldn't forgive him. I assured him that all he had to do was ask. And I am sure he did.

So, Happy Independence Day, Dwight. I miss you terribly!

This picture of Mom and Dwight was taken when Dwight took Mom to Alaska. I can't remember the exact year, nor the location of the picture, but it was before 1996. They left on July 4.